8 Social Skills Students Need(And How to Teach Them Step by Step!)We’ve been talking with the experts at Boys Town Training® about howadministrators and teachers can transform school culture. One of the keyplaces to begin is with the explicit teaching of social skills to all students. When academic and positive social skills are thenorm, students and staff feel safer and happier, office referrals godown, and, best of all, there is more time for teaching and learning.Here are eight key social skills that all students need to besuccessful. Consider working on one or two skills with your classeach week. Start by gathering students together and talking aboutthe skill. For example, ask: Why is listening attentively important?What does it look like when a person is listening? How do weknow? Work together to list the steps for each skill or behavior onchart paper or a whiteboard. Social Skill: How to Listen AttentivelySkill Steps: 1. Look at the person who is talking and remain quiet.2. Wait until the person is finished talking before you speak.3. Show that you heard the speaker by nodding your head, andusing positive phrases, such as “Okay” or “That’s interesting.”Classroom Activity: Invite students to tell each other jokes topractice active listening. Gather joke books from your schoollibrary or send students online to Aha Jokes to find their favoritefunnies to share with their friends. Have students work in smallgroups taking turns in the roles of speaker and active listeners.Older students can practice sharing opinions on class reading orplans for college or career. Social Skill: How to Greet OthersSkill Steps:1. Look at the person.2. Use a pleasant voice.3. Say, “Hi” or “Hello.”Classroom Activity: Challenge your students to come up with 25or more possible greetings they can use with each other, with youor with a classroom guest. Include greetings in differentlanguages. Each morning, go around the room and have eachstudent offer a greeting to the class. Social Skill: Following InstructionsSkill Steps:1. Look at the person.2. Say okay.3. Do what you’ve been asked to do right away4. Check back in with the person. Classroom Activity: Play classroom games that help students toincrease their ability to follow instructions with traditional gameslike Simon Says and Red Light, Green Light. Or challenge yourstudents to a scavenger hunt around the classroom or school. Explain that theirs is no way to succeed without followingdirections precisely. As with all the skills, have your students gothrough the steps every time you issue a request until theybecome second nature. Social Skill: Asking for HelpSkill Steps:1. Look at the person.2. Ask the person if he or she has time to help you.3. Clearly explain the kind of help you need.4. Thank the person for helping.Classroom Activity: Asking for help can be difficult for manystudents and even adults. In a class meeting, have studentpractice this skill by taking a fun and playful approach. Onseparate notecards, write down situations in which a person isasking for help, e.g., “a man asking a stranger for help moving apiano,” “a teacher asking a colleague for help grading a huge pileof papers,” “an astronaut asking for help getting out of his suit.” Invite pairs of students to pick a notecard to act out the sceneincluding all the steps! Social Skill: How to Get the Teacher’s AttentionSkill Steps: 1. Look at the teacher.2. Raise your hand and stay calm.3. Wait until the teacher says your name or nods at you.4. Ask your question.Classroom Activity: Start by asking your students: “What is theWRONG way to get your teacher’s attention?” Encourage them todemonstrate all the wrong ways—waving their hands in the airwildly, jumping up and down, calling out, etc. They will enjoy this!Then, have volunteers model the correct way to get yourattention. Social Skill: How to Disagree AppropriatelySkill Steps: 1. Look at the person.2. Use a pleasant voice.3. Say, “I understand how you feel.”4. Tell why you feel differently.5. Give a reason.6. Listen to the other personClassroom Activity: Disagreeing without arguing is a skill thatmany adults as well as kids and teens find difficult. Like all socialskills, it takes resources and practice. That’s why going over thesteps of each skill is so important. Give students the chance topractice debating and disagreeing when the stakes are low. Forexample, write a controversial statement on the board such as,“Rum raisin is the very best flavor of ice cream,” or “Rap is notmusic,” and invite your students to disagree politely! Social Skill: How to Make an ApologySkill Steps: 1. Look at the person.2. Use your best serious, sincere voice.3. Begin with “I’m sorry for…”, or “I want to apologize for…”4. Do your best not to make excuses.5. Explain how you plan to do better in the future.6. Say, “Thanks for listening.”Classroom Activity: Let’s face it: apologizing is hard, but it does geteasier with practice. Consider tying your discussion of apologies toa book you are reading as a class. From David Shannon’s picturebook No, David! to Louise Fitzhugh’s classic Harriet the Spy, manystories lend themselves to discussions of social skills, mistakes, andapologies. Social Skill: How to Accept “No” for an AnswerSkill Steps:1. Look at the person.2. Say okay.3. Stay calm.4. If you disagree, return to the subject later in a respectful manner.Classroom Activity: Accepting “no” can be difficult when we feelstrongly about a situation. This is a skill that needs to be modeledrepeatedly as its draws on other important skills. In order toaccept “no” gracefully, a child needs to be able to respect authority,see another’s point of view, and have self-control. Write 5-6situations on notecards and give them to groups of students. Examples: The class wants to ask the teacher to hold classoutside. Asking your parents if you can watch an R rated movie. Challenge students to model how they will ask, and how they willhandle the answer. Talk about how they could return to the subjectwith a respectful argument at another time.